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Oct. 17th, 2008

asian face beauty

Affirmations of Health.

I want to get better. Today at least, but I do. I want to be thin, but I don't want to do it by abusing laxatives and purging for the rest of my life. I want to lose weight, but I don't want to gain self loathing in the process.

I'm reading a book at the moment, "Your Perfect Body - A State Of Mind". There are a lot of affirming things in it. I basically want to write some down. This is mainly for myself, but if it helps anyone else, then it's a bonus.


I will, instead of saying "I want to lose weight", say "I am going to re-invent myself, NO MATTER WHAT."

It won't always be easy, but it will be worth it.

It is always easy to find an excuse as to why you are fat. It is harder to admit you need to fix the problems. But which way will make you thinner? The second.

It is possible to change EVERYTHING in your life. Happiness, weight, self confidence. The first step is believing you CAN change.

If you expect to fail, you probably will.

If you're really ready to change, you will.

When you aren't motivated to exercise, exercise anyway.

By not making a decision to change, you are making the decision to stay the same. Are you okay with that?

Don't weight for the 'right time'. For many people, it never comes.

I WILL have a positive attitude toward the weight losses I look forward to, and will believe that those changes are imminent, and I am working toward them with all my will.




Please note that none of these are designed or written for sufferers of an ED. But I am going to try and, within the bounds of my ED, lose weight permanently and healthier than I have been in the past.

These words are only written to one person - Myself. I do not want anyone else to feel pressured or similar by them, I just find them an inspiration to get well and lose weight, and hopefully become a happier person in my own skin.

Jan. 5th, 2008

naked ribs back

Stats update.

So, some days are great, some days are terrible. But, still, I should actually post about my loss, as it's quite decent, I think.

Weight as of 4 months ago (To give an idea of where I've come from) - 79.2 kg.

Stats (weight as of yesterday (before an UD), measurements taken about 10 minutes ago)

Weight - 63.1 kilos.
Bust - 37.5 inches.
Waist - 27.5 inches.
Hips - 37.5 inches.

Dec. 5th, 2007

asian face beauty

Small milestone...

So, I'm still a lot bigger than I want to be. That's a given. BUT. At least today, I can say I am officially no longer overweight.

163.5 cm, 66.6 kg, BMI 24.9.

It's as close to overweight as you can get, but still.

I'm only 3kg away from my lowest ever weight. I want to get there by New Years, if not Christmas.

How's everyone else doing, in reaching their goals/milestones?

Nov. 22nd, 2007

asian face beauty

(no subject)

fuckfuckfuck


it's an up day, and I've already had 1341 calories and it's 2:32. That's not so bad. But I just had 2 rolls of sushi (180 each) AND 2 'Duets' (chicken things with stuffing) which were 434 and 328 respectively. I feel like a fucking fat cow. Admittedly, it took me a couple of hours to eat that much, but I want to purge so fucking bad. I haven't purged in weeks, but I want to so bad. I feel like my stomach is going to explode, I ate way too much.

Nov. 21st, 2007

asian face beauty

Just an update...

Okay. So I think this is the fourth week of the JUDDD now. And I'm still losing about 1 kilo a week (2-3lbs). So, I'm at a new recent low weight, of 68.7 (I started the JUDDD at 75.8). Those are in kilos. In pounds, I'm now 151.1, and started at 166.7. So 15 lbs in about 4 weeks. I'm pretty damn happy with that.

Only 2 lbs to go, and I'll be in the 140's. I know that's probably a lot to some of the people on my watch list, but considering my lowest weight EVER since I was about 14 was 139.9, that's an acheivement for me. I'm so close to being at my lowest weight ever. Only another 12 lbs to go. I should be able to do that in... 3 or 4 weeks? Ah, I can't weight. New low weight by christmas, here I come.

Yeah, not much else happening in my life right now. Sewing a /lot/ and I have lolita commissions coming out of my ears XD. But it's good, getting some money. And soon I might actually make some dresses for myself.

Anyway... That's all for now. Back to pressing the fabric.....

Nov. 10th, 2007

asian face beauty

Why the fuck do I deserve this

I can't fucking deal with this. Yesterday was my down day. I did 185 calories. No more, no less.

That should have been good, right?

I fucking GAINED 550 grams. Half a goddamn kilo.

I just want to cry. How the hell does this happen... What did I do that's so fucking wrong to deserve this?

I was so close to hitting 69.9. Only 450 grams away. Now it's a kilo away. FUCK.

I can't deal with this. I'm fucking freaking out. I'm supposed to have an UD today. How the HELL can I eat that much, when I KNOW I'm gonna gain AGAIN?? FUCK!

I seriously need some help right now. I can't deal with this.

Nov. 7th, 2007

asian face beauty

(no subject)

fuckfuckfuck

2 UDs in a row. I've gained 600 grams. I was sitting at 70.5, now I'm at 71.1!! WTF! I know I'm due to get my period soon, and the weight from the last 2 days of food is still sitting in my gut, but FUCK! I can't gain. I have so much to lose.....

Nov. 5th, 2007

asian face beauty

(no subject)

Down a kilo since yesterday!

Now 70.5. A new recent low weight.

That's... 155 lbs. As opposed to 170ish a few weeks ago. So yeah, reasonable happy. I'm getting there.

I'm sticking to the JUDDD like a fly to honey. It's working so well for me. It's like... a miracle.

Oct. 27th, 2007

asian face beauty

(no subject)

Ok. Up day, morning after, gained 400 grams. BUT I still stop at 73 kg. And 4 weeks ago, my 'heavy weight' was 77. So I have to be happy with that. Overall...

Still huge, but it helps, a little.

I should lose what I gained and more today. Here's hopin'.

Oct. 26th, 2007

asian face beauty

Last day of the week's trial for the JUDDD... Results?

Ok. So, I've been on the JUDDD for 8 days now, 4 up and 4 down. It didn't work that well for me, but that's my own fault. Purging at least once a day, maybe more, has really fucked up the diet for me. BUT the last 2 days, one up one down, I only purged one breakfast. And I lost 600 grams by doing the diet PROPERLY. SO at the end of the week, even though I fucked up, I lost 800grams. Not much, but still, I'm happy enough with the result to keep going for another week. I need to be patient, I've learned this.

So, another 8 days, hopefully without purging AT ALL (scary thought), and I'll have lost more than 800 grams. I really want to be in the 60's, but for now, as of today, 72.6.

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